From Time Management to Energy Management

People like to talk a lot about ROI: if I invest this much money in a project, how much will I get back? Sometimes they think of ROI in terms of time invested. If I put this much time into an activity, what will I get back, and what is worth my time?

What I haven’t heard as often is the concept of ROE, or Return on Energy. I started using this with my business owner clients several years ago as it became obvious that different activities that take the same amount of time can take very different amounts of energy, and have very different outcomes.

If you are doing something you enjoy, you can often spend hours on it, even get lost in it, and afterwards feel relaxed, rejuvenated, and even more energetic than you felt going into it. On the other hand, if you are doing something you dread, you can be completely drained after 10-20 minutes. You also might procrastinate or worry about these activities even when you aren’t doing them, which drains you even more.

One of the most powerful tools we will be using in May – our “Time and Energy Management” month, is the return on energy tool, which allows you to assign an ROE score to all your activities, and then sort them based on which activities you should capitalize on, which you should systemize, and which you should delegate or delete if at all possible.

If you’d like to try this on your own – a simple way is to make a list of everything you have to do to achieve a certain end – whether that is grow your business, have a spotless house, achieve a weight loss goal, or anything else. For each of those activities, start by asking yourself, “if I do this activity well, how far will it take me towards achieving my goal?” Then, ask, “how much does this activity energize or drain me?”

What you’ll notice is that some activities, like making cold calls, may get you to your goal, but may drain you so much they aren’t worth it. While other activities, like e-mail follow up, may not get you as far, but since you could do it all day, you may actually get more out of it.

Same with weight loss. It may be that sticking to a particular diet will get you to your weight loss goal in a few weeks. But it takes every ounce of willpower for you to stick to the diet and you rarely make it past the first few days. On the other hand, eating several small meals each day, and allowing yourself one indulgence each day, might not get you to your goal weight for a few months – but it’s something you can stick to – and several days will go by without you even noticing that you were on a diet. In this case – the second option will likely give you a better “return” on the energy you invest.

Sometimes this concept isn’t easy to get at first, but feel free to contact me with any questions, or be sure to attend one of our May Aspyrre Community events to learn more!

When you want something TOO much

A few years ago, I was talking to a prospective new client, let’s call her Janelle. We were talking about discovering work she loved, and going through the steps of career transition. During our conversation, I heard her say, “Oh…if this doesn’t work, if I can’t find that one thing I’m passionate about – I think I’ll just die!”

That was my red flag. It told me, unfortunately, that she was TOO attached to finding her passion. SO attached that she was almost guaranteeing that it would never happen. She was sad and lost, and miserable in her work. Somehow she had decided that if she could find “her passion” then that would solve all her problems. She had decided that “finding her passion” was the magic cure, the only cure, and the only path to feeling good again. I knew right then that there was almost nothing I could do with her as a coach unless I could help her detach from “needing” this outcome so desperately – and an emotion that powerful isn’t something that detaches easily.

It’s the desperation that does it. Remember the last time you were desperate in a relationship? The other person was probably running the other way, right? The same thing happens when we are desperate for a job, desperate to lose weight, desperate to make millions, desperate for our kids to get straight A’s, desperate for anything to happen a certain way. Usually it doesn’t happen the way we hoped and dreamed it would – ever. In fact, the few times we are able, against all odds, to obtain what we so desperately want, we are in for a rude shock- the thrill lasts only a few minutes and then we are back in our slump again. We find out sadly that it didn’t change anything.

The only solution is to stop being desperate. But if you’ve ever been in this situation, you probably know, that you can tell yourself to stop being so desperate – and it doesn’t do a darn thing.

This month in the Aspyrre Community, we will be addressing this issue of getting overly attached to an outcome, and provide a step by step process you can use to help detach so you can more effectively achieve your goal. I will be running both an in person workshop and a telephone class with a workbook for those who are not in the immediate area. For more information on these classes, you can go to the aspyrre website at: http://www.aspyrre.com/ and look at our "Upcoming Events" in the center of the home page.

This over attachment cycle is something that can truly drive one mad, and if you can relate, please join us in these enlightening and productive events that give you tangible tools - and some control back.

The Power of Vision

Several years ago, I bought a book called “Think Yourself Thin”. The premise was that all you had to do to lose weight is have a very clear picture of yourself as a thin person in your head and think about it every single night. The author used this method of consistent imagery to lose weight herself and then wrote a book about it.

The concept that she uses of visualizing success is a very powerful tool. It is used by Olympic athletes, professional sales people, and others who want to get to a new level of performance. The most powerful “visions” of success not only provide you with a clear picture of what success looks like, they also evoke strong positive emotions. In this way they channel both your mental and emotional energy towards your goal.

You provide your mind with a clear picture as a place to focus. This triggers your “selective perception,” and you begin to notice information that is relevant to achieving your goal. You may not have noticed this information before, just because your brain didn’t see it as relevant.

At the same time your positive emotions provide you with two additional keys to success: one is that other people respond positively to your emotion, so every interaction you have relative to your goal is more effective. Secondly, the positive emotion generates new energy and motivation, so you are more likely to push outside of your comfort zone and act on whatever you are excited about.

If you are working towards a big goal, one sure way to accelerate your progress is to develop a clear picture in your head of what success looks like and think about it often. Draw it, write about it, talk about it, and “practice” being there already.

Sometimes I have clients tell a story of their vision, and interact in our group as if they had already achieved their goal. It’s a fun exercise with a powerful purpose – to get everyone mentally clear and emotionally “in synch” with what they want to make real in their lives.

Do you have a clear vision of what success will look like once you’ve achieved your BIG goal? If not, spend some time today – even 15 minutes, writing it down. And then spend a few minutes tonight before you fall asleep thinking about it. See if you can do this on a daily basis for a few weeks and monitor what new ideas you get and what new possibilities show up for you.

Good luck and have fun with this!

What to do when Nothing is Working

The most frustrating part of working towards a goal are those times when you are trying and trying and trying and not moving anywhere. This can be a scary time because you can lose hope, get exasperated, or wonder seriously if you should give up.

When you find yourself in this situation, you have to both be harder on yourself and kinder to yourself. It sounds contradictory, but what they have in common is awareness.

You have to be harder on yourself:

1. So that you can be really honest about where you have been spending your time. You may be doing things that are comfortable and can easily be rationalized as necessary, but are not the critical actions that will move you toward your goal. Usually I find business owners wrapped up in building a website, handling operations and customer service activities and avoiding sales. Those in job transition are combing the internet for job openings, re-doing their resume, and attending networking events with other job-seekers, but they are not out there finding and introducing themselves to the hiring managers at their target companies.

2. So that you can be really honest with yourself about how consistent you have been over time. I run into people who complain because they haven’t lost weight after one week of following a diet, and have forgotten that for the prior three weeks they were consuming twice as many calories.

You have to be kinder to yourself:

1. Because it takes a lot of energy to make a change and in the beginning you will be drained by everything you put towards your goal. You might not get as much done as you hoped, but if you “re-sort” your priorities and make sure you are addressing your number one priority for at least a small portion of each day, it will get easier, and in a few weeks you should see some progress.

2. Because you are learning and becoming more effective. Every time you shine a light on yourself and observe your own behavior honestly, you gain more personal power. You are no longer a victim to what “happens to you” in the world, because you are discovering how you influence what happens to you, and you are making adjustments.

Keep it up, don’t give up – and if you leave a comment or question, I’ll respond!

Dealing with Fear... OK, Panic!

One of my friends shared a model with me called the PEP, or Panic-Elation-Panic cycle several years ago. If anyone knows who to attribute this to so we can thank them, please share, because I have used it often over the years – almost all of my clients going through big changes have been able to relate to it, and it helped them calm down and move forward when they started panicking. Here’s how it goes:

Panic: I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’m crazy! I’m never going to be able to make this work. What was I thinking?
Elation: But OMG I’m DOING this! I’m going after my dream – I’m MAKING it happen – this is SO amazing – and if it works just IMAGINE what life will be like!
Panic: I’m crazy! There’s no way I can do this. What was I thinking?!? I’m not going to be able to make this happen, I’m going to lose everything, and take my family down with me – what was I thinking, (insert your own explicative)!!!

The entire cycle can be experienced in a matter of one or two minutes – it’s that fast, and it feels like you are on an emotional rollercoaster.

The good news: You’re not crazy. Anyone who has the courage to make a BIG change, like starting a new business, changing careers, or anything else that forces you to push outside of your comfort zone will experience the cycle.

The bad news: Fasten your seatbelt – it’s not going away anytime soon.

This is because you simply don’t know what will happen. You don’t have any guarantees. Even if you work really hard you might not succeed. So of course fear is normal.

One of my favorite books about fear is by Susan Jeffers: Fear the Fear and Do it Anyway. I read it ten years ago and there are two key concepts I still remember and use today:

1. The thinking process that drives fear is generally some version of : “If X happens, I won’t be able to handle it” So the anecdote is to force yourself to face the fear and ask yourself, “If X happens, how will I handle it?” What this gives you back is a sense of control and competence. You may not WANT X to happen, but if you have a plan you have some control back, and that lowers the fear.

2. You can’t make a wrong decision. Some people are afraid if they decide to move forward and then end up failing it will be the “wrong decision”. So they don’t move forward since it’s impossible to really know if you will fail or succeed. Susan has a great model in her book that shows how every decision you make can have a positive outcome. For example, if you decide to try starting a business and two years later you find that you’ve lost your money and have to go and get a “real” job, you most likely will still have gained learning, skills, and character – and these traits come with you, whatever you do next.

Fear is a big part of change, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing, and there are ways to manage it. If you’ve been thinking of making a BIG change in your life, don’t let fear hold you back. Bring it up, look at it straight on, and ask yourself, “How will I handle it?”

Resistance to Change

At some point, fairly soon after you start chasing your BIG goal, you will notice that things are not going as easily as you had hoped. You are encountering resistance to change, both from the inside and the outside.

Maybe you have a hard day and fall back into old habits that have helped you decompress in the past.

Or something major happens that throws everything off - like a vacation, friends coming into town, a deadline at work, or even you getting sick. You get distracted and when you come up for air you realize you've put your BIG goal on the back burner.

The important thing to understand is that the resistance itself is completely normal. What makes a difference is not how much resistance you run up against, but what you choose to do about it.

Most people react like this:

1. Notice the resistance
2. Get mad or down on themselves
3. Try to push through it
4. Give up
5. Push things out of their mind for a long period of time before "giving it another go"

This doesn't work very well, simply because the time period between bursts of effort is so long and the bursts of effort themselves are comparably short.

A better way to handle resistance:

1. Notice the resistance
2. Remind yourself that it is normal and refuse to get down on yourself, even if you are not taking action
3. Pay close attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors around the resistance - you may even want to jot them down in a journal
4. See if you notice an inner conflict, negative self talk, or some other pattern
5. Acknowledge what is standing in your way, and see if you can negotiate a deal with yourself so that you are still doing something - even if it isn't as much as what you'd originally hoped.

Awareness is the key here. Most resistance to change comes from three sources:

(1) you run out of energy because you have too much going on in your life

(2) the actions you've set for yourself push you outside of your comfort zone - they make you feel awkward or embarrassed, so you avoid them.

(3) you are missing something that you need to move forward, such as clarity, belief in yourself, important information, etc.

Paying attention to your resistance and being nice to yourself about it will get your brain going. You may discover what you are missing; you may figure out how to make the action steps less awkward; you might discover something you can do in 10 - 15 minutes each day even if you are tired. And, you can keep reminding yourself of what made your BIG goal exciting in the first place.

This is where having a support system can make a HUGE positive difference. A coach, a success team, even one buddy can help you stay on track and focused. If you don't have a support system, and you are going after a big goal, I'd like to invite you to think about the Aspyrre Community as an option.

Meanwhile - don't give up! Getting through periods of resistance is the number one thing that makes a difference between ongoing cycles of failure and long term success. You can do this!

Daily Actions

Today I pulled out my list of daily actions. A daily actions check list is one of those super simple but very powerful tools - kind of like a to-do list. It's not the tool itself that is so amazing - it's how you use it. Some people are overwhelmed by their To Do lists, and those same people might get overwhelmed with a Daily Actions list, but here are some secrets to making the most of the tool:

1. Think of a set of small actions that, if done on a daily basis for a period of several months (or forever) will almost surely lead to success in achieving your goal. For example, you might have a set of 6 "rules" for eating, that if followed on a daily basis, will almost surely get you to your ideal weight.

2. The Daily Actions list builds on the power of habit building. Once a habit is established, it's harder to NOT do it than do it. So if you build habits that naturally move you towards your BIG goals, you end up achieving more with less effort.

3. It will always take a lot of energy to do something before it becomes a habit, so while you are building a new habit, you will have a better chance of success with steps that drain your energy as little as possible. That means your daily actions should not take very long to do, and they should be pretty easy. Think in terms of "baby steps".

4. Building on the baby steps concept, habits are built through frequency and consistency, so whenever you can break something down into smaller, more frequent steps, you will have better success. One example is with exercise. Instead of doing 1 hour three times per week, you may get farther doing (3) 10 minute routines each day.

5. It's better to have fewer daily actions that too many. Keep in mind you can always add more later, once the habit is built. So if you pick 10 or fewer actions to do on a daily basis, and then you do them consistently for 1-2 months, pretty soon they will be so automatic that you will not have to think about them anymore. Then, if you like the daily actions tool, you can replace those actions with new actions and new habits.

My daily actions list has about 15 items on it. I have been using this list since November, and many of the actions are easy habits by now, but others I have struggled with. The ones I struggle with tend to take more time (like walking the dog for two miles - 40 minutes), or tend to occur in the afternoon or evening when I've crossed over into a reactive state, and am out of energy and not thinking as clearly.

But the daily actions list has become somewhat of a habit for me, and it has served me well. The good thing about good habits is that you tend to always "fall" back into them. And so, after a four day hiatus, I have pulled up my list of 15 items, and little by little am checking them off.

What daily habits could you create that would help you achieve your BIG goal?

Where could you be with six months of focus?

I'm always asking myself this question. I think it's important because it keeps you proactive. It also makes you painfully aware when the answer keeps repeating itself, that you are NOT moving forward in your life the way you want to be. But that awareness, in itself, can move you forward. So, let's start this blog by asking the question.

As a coach, I have to "practice what I preach", and so I'm always working on some goal or another. My current big "six months of focus" goal is to grow one cool program in my business called the Aspyrre Community. I also have other goals I'm working on, related to exercise, eating right, being a good parent, wife and friend, getting organized, etc. But these goals are more basic in that I know what it takes and it's just a matter of consistency. With my BIG goal I have to push out of my comfort zone, so it requires focus and energy. I don't know how successful I'll be - because BIG goals are always risky.

But one thing I do know is that it's worth the push. When I imagine what this program could look like after six months of solid focus on my part, I get really excited. I will keep you posted on my progress towards my big goal - AND I would like to hear yours as well.

If you could have something be really different in your life after six months, what would it be? If you focused on it for six months, how far might you get?

What would be really exciting?

Think about it - and feel free to share what comes up for you!