Resistance to Change

At some point, fairly soon after you start chasing your BIG goal, you will notice that things are not going as easily as you had hoped. You are encountering resistance to change, both from the inside and the outside.

Maybe you have a hard day and fall back into old habits that have helped you decompress in the past.

Or something major happens that throws everything off - like a vacation, friends coming into town, a deadline at work, or even you getting sick. You get distracted and when you come up for air you realize you've put your BIG goal on the back burner.

The important thing to understand is that the resistance itself is completely normal. What makes a difference is not how much resistance you run up against, but what you choose to do about it.

Most people react like this:

1. Notice the resistance
2. Get mad or down on themselves
3. Try to push through it
4. Give up
5. Push things out of their mind for a long period of time before "giving it another go"

This doesn't work very well, simply because the time period between bursts of effort is so long and the bursts of effort themselves are comparably short.

A better way to handle resistance:

1. Notice the resistance
2. Remind yourself that it is normal and refuse to get down on yourself, even if you are not taking action
3. Pay close attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors around the resistance - you may even want to jot them down in a journal
4. See if you notice an inner conflict, negative self talk, or some other pattern
5. Acknowledge what is standing in your way, and see if you can negotiate a deal with yourself so that you are still doing something - even if it isn't as much as what you'd originally hoped.

Awareness is the key here. Most resistance to change comes from three sources:

(1) you run out of energy because you have too much going on in your life

(2) the actions you've set for yourself push you outside of your comfort zone - they make you feel awkward or embarrassed, so you avoid them.

(3) you are missing something that you need to move forward, such as clarity, belief in yourself, important information, etc.

Paying attention to your resistance and being nice to yourself about it will get your brain going. You may discover what you are missing; you may figure out how to make the action steps less awkward; you might discover something you can do in 10 - 15 minutes each day even if you are tired. And, you can keep reminding yourself of what made your BIG goal exciting in the first place.

This is where having a support system can make a HUGE positive difference. A coach, a success team, even one buddy can help you stay on track and focused. If you don't have a support system, and you are going after a big goal, I'd like to invite you to think about the Aspyrre Community as an option.

Meanwhile - don't give up! Getting through periods of resistance is the number one thing that makes a difference between ongoing cycles of failure and long term success. You can do this!