What to do when Nothing is Working

The most frustrating part of working towards a goal are those times when you are trying and trying and trying and not moving anywhere. This can be a scary time because you can lose hope, get exasperated, or wonder seriously if you should give up.

When you find yourself in this situation, you have to both be harder on yourself and kinder to yourself. It sounds contradictory, but what they have in common is awareness.

You have to be harder on yourself:

1. So that you can be really honest about where you have been spending your time. You may be doing things that are comfortable and can easily be rationalized as necessary, but are not the critical actions that will move you toward your goal. Usually I find business owners wrapped up in building a website, handling operations and customer service activities and avoiding sales. Those in job transition are combing the internet for job openings, re-doing their resume, and attending networking events with other job-seekers, but they are not out there finding and introducing themselves to the hiring managers at their target companies.

2. So that you can be really honest with yourself about how consistent you have been over time. I run into people who complain because they haven’t lost weight after one week of following a diet, and have forgotten that for the prior three weeks they were consuming twice as many calories.

You have to be kinder to yourself:

1. Because it takes a lot of energy to make a change and in the beginning you will be drained by everything you put towards your goal. You might not get as much done as you hoped, but if you “re-sort” your priorities and make sure you are addressing your number one priority for at least a small portion of each day, it will get easier, and in a few weeks you should see some progress.

2. Because you are learning and becoming more effective. Every time you shine a light on yourself and observe your own behavior honestly, you gain more personal power. You are no longer a victim to what “happens to you” in the world, because you are discovering how you influence what happens to you, and you are making adjustments.

Keep it up, don’t give up – and if you leave a comment or question, I’ll respond!