Ultimate Confidence - You are Not your Situation

So, I have a confession to make. I just "got" this.

I thought I knew this concept and understood that “you” are not “your situation”. But today, I realized that I still judge myself based on what I have or have not accomplished, what I do and do not do each day – which in my mind results in my situation. So, when my situation is below my standards or expectations, I judge myself as “being” below my standards and expectations.

I often tell my clients they are not their situation – as it’s much easier to see the wonderful people they are as separate from the often challenging and sometimes humiliating situations they find themselves in. But me – well – we are always hardest on ourselves. And when I step on the scale, or notice an unkept area in my house, or see a pathetic bank account balance, I tell myself I should be doing better and that I am not good enough yet.

Today, I decided to practice with the success mindset, “pretending” that I am exactly fine as I am. But then I realized that I usually approach this task by pretending that I have a different situation. That I have accomplished more than I really have in life. I pretend that I’m thinner and more in shape with a bigger bank account living in a fancier house with beautiful landscaping. For some reason THIS is what I think affirmations are – seeing the potential and imagining it as real today.

But if you are not your situation, then why would you have to pretend that your situation is different in order to feel better about yourself?

One problem with this is that if my situation were different, I would make different decisions. If my landscaping was beautiful, for example, I probably wouldn’t choose to go out and do yard work. If my bank account were bigger, then I might choose to purchase something I really shouldn’t purchase now. If I were more in shape, I would be used to exercising at a higher level, and I might have different conflicts about food.

SO, I thought, OK, OK, to make this easier, I will pretend that my current weight IS perfect, that everything I have accomplished to date is AMAZING and I am absolutely where I should be in all areas of my life.

Pretending that was really interesting. And really different. And really powerful. I thought, “Oh so THIS is what 100% self-acceptance feels like!!”

We say all the time that we need to love ourselves before we can truly love others, that we need to accept ourselves 100% in order to be our best. And I think most of us accept this concept intellectually – but I’m curious how many others aren’t actually living it?

If I’m honest I can’t say that I truly live it either – because it’s not easy to stop judging yourself. But today I got a glimpse - a sense of what it feels like. And NOW after that little taste, I’m committed to practicing this mindset until it’s natural.

I will keep you posted on my progress with it – and I would love to hear your experiences as well!!