Procrastination Tips - Managing Your Energy

Sometimes, we procrastinate because we don’t have any energy left to act. Your energy comes and goes, sometimes in cycles, sometimes because of what is going on in your environment, sometimes because of what is going on inside your body or your mind. One of the most powerful ways to get to your next level is to become more aware of your energy cycles and leverage them. Here are two important energy management tips …

1. Go with it. I used to worry that if I allowed myself to take a nap several days in a row it would turn into an awful habit. What I have found is that if I notice myself feeling tired and sluggish, and I honor those feelings by resting, I usually feel great within a few hours or a few days. It doesn’t have to be a nap, but I can use “intentional procrastination” and put a bunch of things on the back burner for three days and go to bed early, or I might just go outside and sit in the sun on my lunch break or take a walk. When I provide myself with the rest I need, I quickly get my focus back and the desire to rest disappears. On the other hand, when I try to fight the desire to rest and “push through it”, I find that I am “pushing” and struggling with that sluggishness for a much longer time. In fact sometimes it’s gone on for months in a row when I haven’t dealt with it.

2. Notice what drains you and what energizes you. Everything that you interact with either drains you or energizes you to some extent. Different people affect you differently, different activities affect you differently, even the type and amount of food you eat will make a difference. Sometimes I have clients “score” activities, people, and events on a scale to identify whether something drains them or energizes them and how much. In this case, knowledge is power. If you know what drains you and what energizes you, you can find a way to get energy back by blocking out the things that drain you, and spending more time immersed in what energizes you. Of course, you may not be able to avoid what drains you forever, but you’ll always do better coming at it with tons of energy reserves available.

Tune in next time for additional tips on how to deal with specific drainers – like those draining people and activities you can’t avoid forever…

Until then – pay attention, and see what you can learn about your energy cycles.

Ultimate Confidence - You are Not your Situation

So, I have a confession to make. I just "got" this.

I thought I knew this concept and understood that “you” are not “your situation”. But today, I realized that I still judge myself based on what I have or have not accomplished, what I do and do not do each day – which in my mind results in my situation. So, when my situation is below my standards or expectations, I judge myself as “being” below my standards and expectations.

I often tell my clients they are not their situation – as it’s much easier to see the wonderful people they are as separate from the often challenging and sometimes humiliating situations they find themselves in. But me – well – we are always hardest on ourselves. And when I step on the scale, or notice an unkept area in my house, or see a pathetic bank account balance, I tell myself I should be doing better and that I am not good enough yet.

Today, I decided to practice with the success mindset, “pretending” that I am exactly fine as I am. But then I realized that I usually approach this task by pretending that I have a different situation. That I have accomplished more than I really have in life. I pretend that I’m thinner and more in shape with a bigger bank account living in a fancier house with beautiful landscaping. For some reason THIS is what I think affirmations are – seeing the potential and imagining it as real today.

But if you are not your situation, then why would you have to pretend that your situation is different in order to feel better about yourself?

One problem with this is that if my situation were different, I would make different decisions. If my landscaping was beautiful, for example, I probably wouldn’t choose to go out and do yard work. If my bank account were bigger, then I might choose to purchase something I really shouldn’t purchase now. If I were more in shape, I would be used to exercising at a higher level, and I might have different conflicts about food.

SO, I thought, OK, OK, to make this easier, I will pretend that my current weight IS perfect, that everything I have accomplished to date is AMAZING and I am absolutely where I should be in all areas of my life.

Pretending that was really interesting. And really different. And really powerful. I thought, “Oh so THIS is what 100% self-acceptance feels like!!”

We say all the time that we need to love ourselves before we can truly love others, that we need to accept ourselves 100% in order to be our best. And I think most of us accept this concept intellectually – but I’m curious how many others aren’t actually living it?

If I’m honest I can’t say that I truly live it either – because it’s not easy to stop judging yourself. But today I got a glimpse - a sense of what it feels like. And NOW after that little taste, I’m committed to practicing this mindset until it’s natural.

I will keep you posted on my progress with it – and I would love to hear your experiences as well!!

From Time Management to Energy Management

People like to talk a lot about ROI: if I invest this much money in a project, how much will I get back? Sometimes they think of ROI in terms of time invested. If I put this much time into an activity, what will I get back, and what is worth my time?

What I haven’t heard as often is the concept of ROE, or Return on Energy. I started using this with my business owner clients several years ago as it became obvious that different activities that take the same amount of time can take very different amounts of energy, and have very different outcomes.

If you are doing something you enjoy, you can often spend hours on it, even get lost in it, and afterwards feel relaxed, rejuvenated, and even more energetic than you felt going into it. On the other hand, if you are doing something you dread, you can be completely drained after 10-20 minutes. You also might procrastinate or worry about these activities even when you aren’t doing them, which drains you even more.

One of the most powerful tools we will be using in May – our “Time and Energy Management” month, is the return on energy tool, which allows you to assign an ROE score to all your activities, and then sort them based on which activities you should capitalize on, which you should systemize, and which you should delegate or delete if at all possible.

If you’d like to try this on your own – a simple way is to make a list of everything you have to do to achieve a certain end – whether that is grow your business, have a spotless house, achieve a weight loss goal, or anything else. For each of those activities, start by asking yourself, “if I do this activity well, how far will it take me towards achieving my goal?” Then, ask, “how much does this activity energize or drain me?”

What you’ll notice is that some activities, like making cold calls, may get you to your goal, but may drain you so much they aren’t worth it. While other activities, like e-mail follow up, may not get you as far, but since you could do it all day, you may actually get more out of it.

Same with weight loss. It may be that sticking to a particular diet will get you to your weight loss goal in a few weeks. But it takes every ounce of willpower for you to stick to the diet and you rarely make it past the first few days. On the other hand, eating several small meals each day, and allowing yourself one indulgence each day, might not get you to your goal weight for a few months – but it’s something you can stick to – and several days will go by without you even noticing that you were on a diet. In this case – the second option will likely give you a better “return” on the energy you invest.

Sometimes this concept isn’t easy to get at first, but feel free to contact me with any questions, or be sure to attend one of our May Aspyrre Community events to learn more!

When you want something TOO much

A few years ago, I was talking to a prospective new client, let’s call her Janelle. We were talking about discovering work she loved, and going through the steps of career transition. During our conversation, I heard her say, “Oh…if this doesn’t work, if I can’t find that one thing I’m passionate about – I think I’ll just die!”

That was my red flag. It told me, unfortunately, that she was TOO attached to finding her passion. SO attached that she was almost guaranteeing that it would never happen. She was sad and lost, and miserable in her work. Somehow she had decided that if she could find “her passion” then that would solve all her problems. She had decided that “finding her passion” was the magic cure, the only cure, and the only path to feeling good again. I knew right then that there was almost nothing I could do with her as a coach unless I could help her detach from “needing” this outcome so desperately – and an emotion that powerful isn’t something that detaches easily.

It’s the desperation that does it. Remember the last time you were desperate in a relationship? The other person was probably running the other way, right? The same thing happens when we are desperate for a job, desperate to lose weight, desperate to make millions, desperate for our kids to get straight A’s, desperate for anything to happen a certain way. Usually it doesn’t happen the way we hoped and dreamed it would – ever. In fact, the few times we are able, against all odds, to obtain what we so desperately want, we are in for a rude shock- the thrill lasts only a few minutes and then we are back in our slump again. We find out sadly that it didn’t change anything.

The only solution is to stop being desperate. But if you’ve ever been in this situation, you probably know, that you can tell yourself to stop being so desperate – and it doesn’t do a darn thing.

This month in the Aspyrre Community, we will be addressing this issue of getting overly attached to an outcome, and provide a step by step process you can use to help detach so you can more effectively achieve your goal. I will be running both an in person workshop and a telephone class with a workbook for those who are not in the immediate area. For more information on these classes, you can go to the aspyrre website at: http://www.aspyrre.com/ and look at our "Upcoming Events" in the center of the home page.

This over attachment cycle is something that can truly drive one mad, and if you can relate, please join us in these enlightening and productive events that give you tangible tools - and some control back.