Procrastination and Fear of Success

Procrastination and Fear of Success - Getting over it so you can Move Forward!

Fear of Success is a confusing concept, but in general it refers to a situation where you want to achieve something but at some level are holding yourself back, usually because if you DO succeed at achieving your goal, it will likely set off a chain of related events – some that you really don’t want to deal with.

One example is that if you get a promotion, it will change your friendships with your peers, and they may be resentful or suspect your motives. Another example is finally getting that job but then having to deal with going to work every day and proving yourself to a group of new strangers.

The problem is that when you are experiencing fear of success, it’s not very logical or very clear. You often have no idea what you are avoiding or why. You may notice yourself procrastinating on the actions that will bring you success. You may even pick up on a pattern where your procrastination gets worse the closer you get to your goal.

The important thing to understand is that we all have fears related to change. Some of them are very real and make a lot of sense. Some are pretty illogical, but the fear is just as real. However, the real barrier to success is not fear; it’s lack of awareness.

I have a new strategy for dealing with my “fear of success”, and maybe it will be useful to you as well:

1. I have my goals written down, and my actions in a daily action list, so I can monitor how I’m doing.

2. As soon as I notice that I’m not doing what I promised myself, I ask myself why. Sometimes it’s just because the day got away from me and I’m tired. But sometimes I notice I’m avoiding the task.

3. I then think really hard of what I want to achieve and the tasks on my list to get there, and I notice how my body responds. If I have tingling in my stomach, butterflies, any type of anxiety, that’s my red flag. It tells me I’m afraid of something, and the fear is driving me into avoidance mode.

4. I then pay attention to my thoughts, I try to catch the words of the “What if” thought fragments that run through my mind. I ask myself – “what could go wrong, what could go right, what scares me about this?”

5. Even if no clear answer comes to me, I now have power. I know I’m holding myself back because of fear, so my job is to find another way. I either find another goal that is less scary, or I find different tasks that are less scary. The sooner I acknowledge that I’m afraid, the sooner I can face my fear, and the sooner I can come up with a better strategy.

6. If I get lucky, and I get clear answers to what I’m afraid of, I have even more power. Now I can think through the situation. I can acknowledge what I’m afraid of and talk myself through it. I might be able to take baby steps. Or I might realize I have a values conflict and I really don’t want to go after this particular goal. So then – what other options do I have?

The important key in this exercise is awareness. We often spend a lot of energy trying to understand why we have these various irrational fears, but I’m beginning to realize that no matter how developed a person is – there are always new “issues” to discover and work through within yourself – and we can’t put our lives on hold until everything is resolved.

I currently am working on a big project that will be terrific if I can pull it off, but it’s scary as well. I notice that if I bite off more than I can chew I begin to worry and get distracted. So I’ve committed to taking baby steps and facing my fears over and over. And to date, I’m pleased to report that I’ve made twice as much progress towards this goal than I have in the past.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress. Meanwhile, I’d love to hear your stories!

Procrastination Tips - Managing Your Energy

Sometimes, we procrastinate because we don’t have any energy left to act. Your energy comes and goes, sometimes in cycles, sometimes because of what is going on in your environment, sometimes because of what is going on inside your body or your mind. One of the most powerful ways to get to your next level is to become more aware of your energy cycles and leverage them. Here are two important energy management tips …

1. Go with it. I used to worry that if I allowed myself to take a nap several days in a row it would turn into an awful habit. What I have found is that if I notice myself feeling tired and sluggish, and I honor those feelings by resting, I usually feel great within a few hours or a few days. It doesn’t have to be a nap, but I can use “intentional procrastination” and put a bunch of things on the back burner for three days and go to bed early, or I might just go outside and sit in the sun on my lunch break or take a walk. When I provide myself with the rest I need, I quickly get my focus back and the desire to rest disappears. On the other hand, when I try to fight the desire to rest and “push through it”, I find that I am “pushing” and struggling with that sluggishness for a much longer time. In fact sometimes it’s gone on for months in a row when I haven’t dealt with it.

2. Notice what drains you and what energizes you. Everything that you interact with either drains you or energizes you to some extent. Different people affect you differently, different activities affect you differently, even the type and amount of food you eat will make a difference. Sometimes I have clients “score” activities, people, and events on a scale to identify whether something drains them or energizes them and how much. In this case, knowledge is power. If you know what drains you and what energizes you, you can find a way to get energy back by blocking out the things that drain you, and spending more time immersed in what energizes you. Of course, you may not be able to avoid what drains you forever, but you’ll always do better coming at it with tons of energy reserves available.

Tune in next time for additional tips on how to deal with specific drainers – like those draining people and activities you can’t avoid forever…

Until then – pay attention, and see what you can learn about your energy cycles.