Procrastination and Fear of Success - Getting over it so you can Move Forward!
Fear of Success is a confusing concept, but in general it refers to a situation where you want to achieve something but at some level are holding yourself back, usually because if you DO succeed at achieving your goal, it will likely set off a chain of related events – some that you really don’t want to deal with.
One example is that if you get a promotion, it will change your friendships with your peers, and they may be resentful or suspect your motives. Another example is finally getting that job but then having to deal with going to work every day and proving yourself to a group of new strangers.
The problem is that when you are experiencing fear of success, it’s not very logical or very clear. You often have no idea what you are avoiding or why. You may notice yourself procrastinating on the actions that will bring you success. You may even pick up on a pattern where your procrastination gets worse the closer you get to your goal.
The important thing to understand is that we all have fears related to change. Some of them are very real and make a lot of sense. Some are pretty illogical, but the fear is just as real. However, the real barrier to success is not fear; it’s lack of awareness.
I have a new strategy for dealing with my “fear of success”, and maybe it will be useful to you as well:
1. I have my goals written down, and my actions in a daily action list, so I can monitor how I’m doing.
2. As soon as I notice that I’m not doing what I promised myself, I ask myself why. Sometimes it’s just because the day got away from me and I’m tired. But sometimes I notice I’m avoiding the task.
3. I then think really hard of what I want to achieve and the tasks on my list to get there, and I notice how my body responds. If I have tingling in my stomach, butterflies, any type of anxiety, that’s my red flag. It tells me I’m afraid of something, and the fear is driving me into avoidance mode.
4. I then pay attention to my thoughts, I try to catch the words of the “What if” thought fragments that run through my mind. I ask myself – “what could go wrong, what could go right, what scares me about this?”
5. Even if no clear answer comes to me, I now have power. I know I’m holding myself back because of fear, so my job is to find another way. I either find another goal that is less scary, or I find different tasks that are less scary. The sooner I acknowledge that I’m afraid, the sooner I can face my fear, and the sooner I can come up with a better strategy.
6. If I get lucky, and I get clear answers to what I’m afraid of, I have even more power. Now I can think through the situation. I can acknowledge what I’m afraid of and talk myself through it. I might be able to take baby steps. Or I might realize I have a values conflict and I really don’t want to go after this particular goal. So then – what other options do I have?
The important key in this exercise is awareness. We often spend a lot of energy trying to understand why we have these various irrational fears, but I’m beginning to realize that no matter how developed a person is – there are always new “issues” to discover and work through within yourself – and we can’t put our lives on hold until everything is resolved.
I currently am working on a big project that will be terrific if I can pull it off, but it’s scary as well. I notice that if I bite off more than I can chew I begin to worry and get distracted. So I’ve committed to taking baby steps and facing my fears over and over. And to date, I’m pleased to report that I’ve made twice as much progress towards this goal than I have in the past.
I’ll keep you posted on my progress. Meanwhile, I’d love to hear your stories!
